Well pitifully, since you have not found the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow, while looking for more agony in the beginning or the end of the bad news that you are anticipating .... miserably in that new clue, I am certain you are looking for more misery to be coming for you.
Are you only making mistakes? Is it really too late?
Seriously will anticipating depressing things be the only way you will ever start your day?
Bottom line if you are destined to cry while wilting on the vine…. how will your soul grow?
How can you stay alive if you are dying?